Wish I'd taken a photo!

So, my new line of business is established. Proffitt & Son respectfully dressed, serving their patrons in somber and reflective mood...

Whilst Mrs Proffitt and Mr Proffitt Junior host a raucous pillow-fight in the middle of the store, dodging tombstones and urns, and totally ignorant of the queue of shoppers-in-mourning queueing at the unattended checkout.

I can see this is going to be another success story.

Dead money...

Cows have not been the tycoon success I thought they would be. We (my Sims and I) didn't make THAT much money really (well, I landed in $35,000 debt and a business rating of -2, but we don't need to dwell on this).

So I need to look for something a little more income-assured... And it struck me today (when fondly recalling my last Sims-murder) that ALL Sims must come to an end. So surely they will want that time to be the most adorned, peaceful and beautiful time, won't they? WON'T THEY?!!

So, meet "Proffitt & Son Place Of Peace"! Making a little money happiness is what this venture is about...

The shop...



More of the shop...



And the Chapel Of Rest...

Of COURSE that's not a ticket machine in the Chapel Of Rest!!! Gasp! As if I would be that tasteless! No, that is NOT a ticket machine; it is a 'Donation Box'...

The results of stupidity...

What no-one told ME (yes, I expect to be told EVERYTHING) is that, when a Sim buys something at your lot, that 'something' is added to their inventory. So, when you return to a family who might have shopped at another of your fine establishments, you might find they've been wantonly spending money to buy useless items.

Now, it took several days for my burgeoning cattle market to cease burgeoning and instead sound the death nell of bankrupcy. In the meantime, cattle traded hands in a manner more akin to an international stock exchange.

I have reason to believe, given the above 'news', I can expect my neighbourhood lawns to be littered with cows and milk churns.

Which will look very silly indeed in my concrete jungle!!!!!

Is it me, or what?!

My second business is doomed!

Whilst my partner basks in the glory of a super-smooth business ranked 10(!) and making lots of money, I'm enjoying a business rank of -1 (oh, stop laughing!!!) and a debt to the tune of $-30,000.

Seeings as my cow-selling is another miserable failure, I decided to cash in the stock...

My cattle market will be sold on to any hapless player who thinks they can do better (and why are you ALL nodding?!). To be uploaded shortly whilst I start my next line: a funeral undertaker's. Well, there's no end of money in that line of business, surely?

A career change...

So, scrap is not a good thing to sell. So, what else?

Got it! Cattle! Welcome to the latest in line of Cyclonesue's Batty Businesses: the Cattle Market! Windkeeper's cows and Simaddict99's milk churns all selling like hot cakes! Everyone loves a pet cow, after all...

If I were a Sim...

If I were a Sim having babies,
I'd spin with my arms in the air,
I'd look for the neighbourhood toddlers
To ensure my child grew the same hair.

If I were a Sim with a garden
I'd love my new wrought iron gate,
But I'd walk anywhere rather than use it
No matter how much I was late.

If I were a Sim cooking omelettes
But your console had great-looking games,
I'd leave it and join in the action
Our dinner all gone up in flames.

If I were a Sim and was visiting
I'd sit down and expect to be fed.
And outstay my welcome for hours
Long after you'd all gone to bed.

If I were a Sim with some homework
By the mailbox is where it would land,
And if you should want me to do it
I'm sorry but I've joined a band!

If I was a Sim who was working
I'd expect you to collect me by car,
But you'll wait outside a good hour
Whilst I forget you and prop up the bar.

If I were a Sim with a date
I'd leave rudely to sit in the loo,
And then when I forget to phone you
I'd expect you to leave bags of poo.

If I were a Sim who adored you
I'd move you right into my home,
And although you did not mention children
All seven would become like my own!

If I were a Sim with a teddy
I'd use it to mock you and taunt,
Not knowing that when you die lonely
You'll come back to me just to haunt!

If I were a Sim with some money
You could change all my windows and walls,
But don't even expect me to notice,
When my shack is a stately new hall.

If I were a Sim who wrote poetry
It's not something I'd probably do,
You see there are some very bad at it
And one here is that Cyclonesue!

And ALREADY disaster!!!

And this is how it winds up!!!

Customers have dumped their shopping in despair, my Sim's hygiene is unmentionable as she lies collapsed in bed, with the work vehicle outside and the stove burnt to rubble.

THIS, everyone, is why I don't play Sims!!!

I'm in business!!!

So, it's NOT an original blog title, but there we all are.

I loaded the pack today and here is the scene at Austin's Place - one of my Urban Renewal lots (see all these shameless plugs?!)...

I KNEW there would soon come a time when someone would want all that junk. Trouble is, I've yet to sell a single item! I think the fact my Sim's sales tactic runs along the lines of hollering "Buy the stupid thing or else!" does not help matters. You can just see her in the background singling out her next victim.

Oh no! Not AGAIN!

Yes, they've done it AGAIN!

There's a bit of a standing joke about how I seem to invent an object to make, only for Maxis to later show screenies of what they're offering in their next EP: the same type of object - only better.

And with the run-up to 'Open For Business', I've not been disappointed. After all, we all know about their elevators and coned roofs, so I shall quietly hide MY offerings under a rug and hope no-one notices them.

Today, my partner showed me a new screenie this morning from one of you lucky people who already have the pack. They have introduced a BAY WINDOW!!! Now, you saw my last blog entry. I was so PLEASED about my new idea! Except I'm not the only one with this idea, am I?! Grrrrrr...

I suppose I'll receive the pack only to find a broken junkyard toilet in it too (as usual, the Maxis version being better than mine)...

Don't let anyone tell you that windows are difficult...

Here's my new venture! A box window (small version - several more somewhat unknown versions might happen even yet).

First a view from outside, then the same window from the inside...

It was a breeze to make. NOT!

Firstly NOTHING lined up. Then I realised I'd cloned the most unsuitable window in the whole world (and so started again), then my very dated graphics program (of 1995 Windows NT4 vintage) forgot how to make simple straight lines without adding a great degree of fuzz. Once I'd put something together, the end result looked more akin to a 1970s 'Stickle Brick' (you remember those too? You're due for retirement if you do!), and this was worsened by the fact that the stickle brick floated mid-air nowhere near ANY wall!

So, comparatively few problems for a change.

Now that I've got THIS one to work (it only took me ALL stupid weekend!), I might even make a diagonal version, and some other sizes and colours...

It really rather depends on my temper!!!

PS: Of COURSE nothing can be placed on the window sill!!! Who do you think I am? Ms Maxis Extraordinaire?!