The Bearded Crow

How DARE you assume that this title is about me!

Anyway, remember the tale of woe I told you about the Lesser Spotted Redface? Well, I have another tale about this very same bird watcher. Another tale of shame - not as bad as the last, but enough to snuff this hobby once and for all...

This aspiring bird spotter achieved a very important moment of fame, for one day she spotted a most unusual bird: a black crow with the most curious white beard! Yes, really.

She wasn't sure if she was just seeing a one-off peculiar bird, but after that day, she began to notice more of them. Black crows with very distinct fluffy white beards - white fluff on either cheek. Now sure that these unusual birds were easy to spot, she hurried to her Ornithologist Club and reported the new bird. There was great excitement. Other bird watchers came to see and were astonished at the crows which flew around - with unmistakeable beards. And the moment of glory was when the Secretary of the club also wanted to know more! This was a very great honour indeed.

Imagine you are this woman. Imagine the glory of being THE ONE to spot a never-seen-before bird. You are young and have less experience than other members, but it was YOU who spotted the bird first. People are looking at you like you just saw an angel with your very own eyes! Photos, articles, witness accounts are surely around the corner. Perhaps this species might even be named after you!

And as you're strolling along dreaming in your moment of glory, DO notice the very ordinary crows in the field nearby. These crows don't seem to have beards - yet! Suddenly, some of them take off - and as they launch into the air, they DO have beards! You see: this field is a SHEEP field, and as there are many tufts of wool in the grass, you suddenly realise that these beards are NOT beards at all! Just ordinary crows gathering wool for nesting materials.....

So, fully aware that you've told just about everybody about the amazing new bird species you discovered, you go into hiding for several YEARS and are never seen at the Ornithologist Club ever again. Another R.I.P. hobby.

Dead Automobile Society

...And if anyone is wondering about what my latest creation might be (those of you who managed to keep control of your excitement and stay to the end of my last blog entry), then I will reveal now what it is....

[cue drum roll]

My next creation will be..... Dead Cars!

Oh, stop looking like that, will you?! Yes, dead cars. Cars that don't move, can't move. Cars that just get stomped at. Like I say: Dead Cars.

You're just jealous because you didn't think of it first. I have my reasons. I might even be bothered to share them with you once the set has been completed. Until then, marvel at the mystery of my brilliant mind. Yes, MARVEL!

Power to you

You're wondering why, aren't you?

You've seen those wall power sockets and are wondering how on earth you're supposed to be able to add these to your Pleasantville pictoresque homes.

Admit it. You wanted pretty little white switches didn't you? Delicate little white switches for delicate little fingers to press.

Well, that serves you right for having nice homes in your neighbourhoods, then! Don't come crying to me about how nasty all my best decorative objects appear to be when I've already given you a whole heap of horrible homes to play with instead. You are VERY lucky that I'm too stupid to be able to create Sims and clothing - otherwise, there would be a revolution there too! No more of this frilly, crisp and clean nonsense, I can tell you.

Just stop fighting the urge and get your hands (and neighbourhoods) dirty! I didn't get where I am today by making NICE things! Some people might now be asking just exactly where I HAVE 'got' in that snorty sort of way, but anyone who reads me regularly (I'll send apology notes out later) will already know what I think of that TINY MINORITY collectively known as 'some people'!

There - that's off my chest now. Off to my latest creation...

Redundantly Stupid Statements

RSS feeds - that's what I'm going to carp on about today (almost a year on from when they were launched at TSR). Why today? Well, because I'm bone idle and didn't want to explain about them before, but Windkeeper has saved me that trouble by launching a terrific explanation in our forums on how they're used: Using RSS feeds...

Some might say that the REAL reason I never bothered explaining was because I simply didn't know myself what it was all about. But those 'SOME' people can just shut up!

So, what does RSS stand for? I dunno. Join everyone else on that. It's believed to be 'Really Simple Syndication'. Yes, it would have made more sense for them to be called something far more obtuse and complicated like, er, 'news feed' or something, but there we all are.

Anyway, RSS pages are basically web pages designed to be read by computers rather than people (or more precisely, little applications called feed readers). If you install a feed reader, this reader will check the net for updates on all your subscribed 'feeds' without you ever having to visit the site (though of COURSE you will want to come to THIS site, won't you?!) and they protect your privacy because you no longer have to give any email address in order to subscribe to any web service of interest. Windkeeper's post and the links she provides give far better explanations than I have, though.

Best of all, it means you can receive MY drivel whenever I can be bothered to write it. How about that?! All together now: Say "Ooh! Lovely!" With sincerity!!!

On your guard

Window guards. How useful for bungalows they are...

Whether useful or not, I thought it was high time I made some. There are three designs, three colours - in three height positions so that they match pretty much any window size.
Rather pretty for me, really - but I'm sure I'll get over it soon. Back with some grime later!

Getting a-round to it...

Just when you thought I'd FINALLY stopped coming up with these bad blog titles! Anyway, remember these round walls I was telling you about AGES ago?
...Well, I finally uploaded them today. To demonstrate just how far behind I am, I made these during July/August, so if I've promised you any requested items, it might be wise not to expect them until towards the next millenium. I haven't forgotten you, i'm just incompetent.

And there we all are.

Poll Cat

Yep, give me a toy and I'll do something stooopid with it.

Today, we've been given polls. Ooh lovely! Now I can ask you for your opinions on anything and everything! And do nothing useful whatsoever with the results! I've started off with an easy question for you. Off you go!

We are glass...

How could I turn down a shameless opportunity to quote a line from a favourite Gary Numan song? And don't look at me in that YOUNG way and say "Gary WHO?"

Anyway, on to the subject in hand. The double-sided glass tiles! Woot! They're released! Yes, they're REALLY double-sided and so they're great for glass roofs and conservatories. And if you've had the wisdom to download Tiko's simple Glass Domes tutorial, guess what you can do with these tiles!

And I wanna see your results! So, get cracking!

Factory obsessed?

I know, I KNOW!

Yet Another Factory coming up. What is it with industrial anyways? Why do I like it so much?

I have NO idea, but each time my train to work flies through an industrialised area, I just can't help seeing something totally fascinating and begging to be made.

But the factory I've uploaded is one I actually built for ME. This is my dream lot. This is what I want to play in my game. Use it as a business, modernise it into an incredible home, or make it even more 'disused industrial': your choice. I used the interior for the screenshots of my Fans, Vents & Shafts set (hope you liked this one - especially the animated fans). The factory is also a backdrop for a new smaller set due out (you'll see it in my Upcoming Items page) containing switches, cables and sockets.

In fact, that factory is gonna make a guest appearance in every screenie I put together from now on, so it;s probably best you don't ask me to make a set of tablecloth recolours, because that would look just plain silly, wouldn't it?

Secret bookcases and lighting

If you downloaded my Secret Bookcase Doors (if not, WHY not?!!!!), I wanted to repeat a comment I made on these downloads in case you missed it.

Lighting. Doors in The Sims don't light up in the same way objects do. That means that the bookcase door when used indoors, by default, is in permanent dark shadow, unlike its surrounding bookcases. This is a global problem with the way doors are treated in-game and no-one has yet come up with any workaround for the problem.

Therefore, MY workaround is to provide various different lighting shades of door so you can pick the best to match the individual light levels in your rooms. It's not a perfect workaround, but you can at least make perfect matches for movies or story-making shots.

If you find that the lighting levels aren't ideal, drop me a line and I'll see what I can do for you (like make new versions for you to try, or maybe I'll just suspend your body in one of my gibbet cages, for instance).